Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Pumpkin + Fungi + Goat Milk = Puppy

Recipe for a stuck puppy:
  • Take a front yard that doesn't get much sun
  • Spread a dash of low-temp compost
  • Wait a few weeks until several volunteer pumpkin vines appear (note: do not add water because these are volunteers and you don't know if they're edible and you just want to see how they do)
  • Let grow for several weeks until powdery mildew appears (which is why you don't grow squash on purpose in the first place)
  • Remove all mildewed leaves
  • After doing some online reseach about natural remedies, take 2 cups old goat milk that you traded your backyard chicken eggs for but didn't use up fast enough and spray it all over the pumkin vines
  • Stir briefly, in your mind, wondering about what new pests or problems the fragrant goat milk will bring.  Wait 30 seconds...
...and the neighbor's puppy wiggles under the wood fence and get stuck between that and a chain link to lick the leaves and cry.

Next, break into the neighbors yard and try to cajole the puppy back into it's yard.

...and that was my morning.

No comments:

Post a Comment